Walking By

Walking By

I see you walking by me⁣ Lady with the little sapling in her cart⁣ Man in the blue baseball cap ⁣ Lady in the khaki slats and summer sandals⁣ Nurse in the purple scrubs with a stethoscope around your neck⁣ I see all of you, walking, walking freely without having to think about how you're walking, how fast you're walking, how far you're walking ⁣ I used to walk fast. I used to walk faster than most people I knew. ⁣ I remember long ago, was it only 7 years? It feels like a lifetime. ⁣ I remember seven years ago going for a walk with a friend. He wanted to stroll aimlessly across campus, no destination in mind. ⁣ And he challenged me to walk slow. To see if I could allow my body to slow down, and relax into a leisurely stroll. ⁣ I couldn't do it. ⁣ I really struggled. ⁣ As I forced myself to take the slowest of strides, I felt everything in my body rebelling against this alien pace. ⁣ Several moments later, I would speed up and he would tell me to slow down. ⁣ I always had the urge to move fast. To not waste time. To race from A to B as quickly as possible. ⁣ This was hard for me. But I continued to match myself to his slow gait. Seven years later, I have to walk even slower than that unbearably slow stroll through UBC's campus. ⁣ I am a thirty year old woman who walks like an ancient, crippled being. And I have to watch everyone else pass me by. ⁣ I have to watch them take their ability to walk with speed for granted, just like I took it for granted. ⁣ They will never know how torturous it feels, to look like you should be able to do what they can do, but know that your body just can't keep up. ⁣ What a different life. So alone in what I now know. ⁣ ⁣ From the vault | May 30, 2018 | 3:06pm