Hello, insomnia, my old friend (read: nemesis).
It feels like my body is waging a brutal war on itself and it's taking everything in me to keep afloat and make it to the next day.
I barely remember what it feels like to be a normal person, someone who's blessed enough to be able to get up and seize the day without the risk of their central nervous system crashing at any second and without being greeted with an onslaught of incapacitating symptoms as soon as they wake up.
To be able to go for a run, go to work, have your own home, make plans to go out at night with friends and enjoy yourself with no reservations...that all seems so far away.
To my spoonie warriors, you are incredible. You are stronger and more resilient than most people will ever know.
And while it may not feel fair at times, know that it's okay. Know it for yourself so that no one else needs to know it for you. Hold that knowledge of your own resiliency close to your heart and allow that to raise you up and help carry you on to the next day.
It's a dark, rough, lonely, never-ending sickening ride but I know you've got this. Sending you all my love.