No Shoulds (Part 2)
Part 2 of 2. Well, this is me, in my current state. The hair is gone. And it's gone because I chose it. I wanted it. And I didn't move on to the next, shorter stage until I felt that shift within me and just knew that it was time and that I was ready for the next change. When I finally arrived at the moment of taking the clippers into my hand and shaving off the rest of my hair, I felt joy at having finally learned this lesson: It doesn't matter how many times someone tells you to do something, that you should do something because that's what would be best for you. Come to it on your own terms. Arrive at a destination because it's what you want for yourself. There are no shoulds. And if it's a gradual process that takes a significant amount of time, so be it. This concludes my progression towards a full buzz cut, the shortest my hair has been since birth. It's been a journey that's taken me over a year. It's one I knew I would need to take as my health drastically deteriorated and the toll on my wellbeing rose as managing hair took too much out of me with washing it or caused pain and discomfort. I am proud of myself for coming into this phase on my own terms, giving myself time to slowly transform, adjust, recalibrate how I perceive myself and how I perceive feminine beauty, accept myself in the current stage, and prepare for the next one. Never in all my prior years did I ever think that I would have hair this short. Of course, I also never imagined my life changing from a debilitating chronic disease. But here we are. And the greatest surprise of all: I'm loving it.