Good To Be Here
It's no secret that I didn't want to leave my island sanctuary and come back to Vancouver. I dreaded the way all the lights, sounds, traffic, congestion, social obligations of family and friends, and distance from the serenity of quiet island life would bombard my fragile, sensitized central nervous system and wreck havoc on my body (and it already has in under 24 hours). The noisy city simply isn't where I'm meant to be right now. I also didn't want to come back to this house, knowing that my beloved dog wouldn't be here. That every inch of this space would remind me of him. That every moment here would be tainted by the overwhelming void now created from his missing presence. But five minutes ago, it struck me. It's good to be here. It is. As I gingerly stepped through the quiet house, noting the presence of various family members sitting or sleeping in their own spots, the awake ones whispering so as not to wake the toddler who had finally just slipped into sleep, I felt grounded. I felt at peace. I felt content to have the presence of these family members around me. In this moment, I don't feel the need to escape. I am happy to be right where I am. In this space, with the ones I love.